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Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Modern Sewing Advice






I found this gem on Pinterest the other night while fighting insomnia. How relevant! I decided to share with you, my dear readers, how I follow this advice to the letter and beyond. 
Let me Bullet Point this for you.
* Prepare yourself ~ I obsess for days about what I"m going to do with my piece before cutting into it. Forget about flippantly doing anything. Apathy does not dare enter my crib! I stare at my project and whisper "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I worry and wring my hands. I make copious lists of how, when and where I will sew up my project. I spin hand picked cotton into thread, I sharpen my scissors with a handmade lath and forge my needles like my grandmother used too. I plot the time of day I will sew, where the sun will be in the sky so I can get maximum natural light. I check my horoscope the night before. Nothing is left to chance.
* Clean your house ~ Call me MRS. CLEAN. OH YEAH. I whip through my house with a bottle of bleach. You can eat off the floors I scrubbed with a toothbrush before I get to my sewing machine. Heaven forbid I try to craft before my bed is made. Dirty dish? I laugh at the thought. Not a speck of dust shall be found. I would have to take a vat of Xanax if I tried to sew with an untidy house. Just the thought sends me into vapors.
* Make yourself attractive as possible~ OH! YES! Of course! I live in constant terror that a visitor might drop by and catch me in my wherewithalls. Excuse me while I don my sequined evening gown and strap on my seven inch heels. Do I have enough FRENCH CHALK POWDER IN MY WIG BECAUSE I'M NOT SURE. I decided to keep it there since I will be constantly adjusting it to make sure it is on straight, therefore killing two birds with one stone. I have a tube of lipstick strapped to my sewing machine with some Velcro. I'm set for when my husband unexpectedly drops in for a "visit."
I have all of this down girls. Follow my example and you also will enjoy your sewing while having a sparkling clean house and a wildly happy significant other.







7 comments:

  1. That is hilarious! I'm so just the opposite...I'm lucky if I'm out of my nightgown when starting to sew...much less worrying about the makeup!! If unexpected visitors arrive...I just ignore them and don't answer the door and keep on with my sewing!

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    1. I think I will take off these heels ~ THEY ARE KILLING ME~ and follow your lead! ;-p

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  2. I never would have made it. Loony bin for this willfull woman!

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  3. Amazing the progress we see!!! When do we get to see your spotless house?!!!

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  4. I sew naked,visitors be damned! I try not to trip over the larger dust bunnies or step on any of the babies on the way to the sewing machine. Since I sew naked and sit on a wooden chair the French chalk does come in handy. I may try those 7 inch heels😊.

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  5. I sew naked,visitors be damned! I try not to trip over the larger dust bunnies or step on any of the babies on the way to the sewing machine. Since I sew naked and sit on a wooden chair the French chalk does come in handy. I may try those 7 inch heels😊.

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  6. NAKED? LOL!!! I'll call before I stop by!! <3

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